A Year of Reconnecting (and disconnecting)

        

The substance of a relationship can be measured by how long it takes to get reacquainted after a long separation.  - Timothy Crouse

As I reflect upon the past year, I would label 2012 as a year of reconnecting for me. But it has also had much disconnecting.

First, My Disconnections.

2012 has brought many relational changes for me.  My co-workers are in many ways like a family to me.  Together we talk, laugh, walk, eat, drink, work, and generally share in each others lives.  So it is always disrupting when someone leaves that family.  Several have chosen to retire. Some have left to work elsewhere.  Others have left in the worst way possible, having lost battles to fatal illnesses. There is simply no more sobering experience than attending the funeral of someone younger than me (since I am in my early 40's).  And still others have left to fight their ongoing illnesses.

Fortunately we are in an era where communication is easier than ever.  This makes it easier than ever to stay in touch with those I no longer see on a daily basis.  But it still takes some effort to maintain these relationships, especially if they are not yet on board with any social networking application.  I am happy that I see my retired friends as often as I do, and even happier to see how much they are enjoying their lives.

My Reconnections

Many relationships from my past have come back into my life this past year.  They have come through social networking, a wedding, a high school reunion, as well as through personal visits.   A strong desire to reconcile these friendships was sparked through something that started as a household cleaning chore. As I was rearranging some items in my house I came across what I will refer to as "The Box".  

It was somewhat of a personal time capsule for me.  It started when I was in high school.  Upon my graduation I received so many nice cards from my friends and family and I didn't really know what to do with them.  I felt bad about throwing them away, so I just stored them in a shoe box. Over time I continued to add birthday cards, holiday cards, and any personal letters I had received.  The shoe box was replaced by a bigger box, and it has stayed with me for about 25 years. Oddly enough, I seem to have stopped adding to it sometime around the advent of email.  I was doing some much needed purging, so I was opening up each box and storage bin to decide what I actually needed to keep.  Inevitably I opened "The Box". It occurred to me that I had never actually taken anything out of it or read through any of its contents.  Until that point I had only added things to it.  So I became very curious and I spontaneously decided to open it up and check out its contents.  Several hours later I closed it up, having reread most of the cards and letters.  In that short time I had gone through a full range of emotions: happiness, grief, love, heartbreak, and everything between.  Mostly they evoked fond memories of many great relationships. I sadly realized that hardly any of those relationships were a part of my present life.  But there were also some "difficult" ones as well which had ended with painful abruptness.  Fortunately, time has a unique way of healing that which nothing else can.  

So I made a resolution then to at least get back in touch with those who where once my best of friends.  And I have made great progress toward this goal so far.  I have been extremely blessed with the reunions I have had during the year, and I look forward to bringing more back into my life this year.  

No one seems very far away in this era of mobile phones, social networks, and of course airplanes.  I can't say that I have ever regretted spending time or money on travel, especially when it is for visiting with a friend or relative.  There is simply no substitute for a face to face conversation.  I am always reminded that no one in the US is more than a few hours away,  and given a day you can be almost anywhere in the world.  All it takes is time and money. Yes... I know... there is usually a shortage of both!  Maybe that's why they just seem to slip away...

My Resolution

So that's my resolution for 2013: not just to contact people, but to see them as well.  As many of them as I can anyway.  I never need an excuse to travel, but that is as good of one as there can be.